ATF Responds To Montana Mail Bomb Blunder
The fear of being targeted with a mail bomb is at an all-time high since 1996 when Montana resident Ted Kaczynski was sending explosive packages around the country. As of today, there have been over fifteen different incidents of pipe-bombs being mailed to various politicians and CEOs.
Today marks the first known incident of the FBI and ATF being called in to a report of a potential mail-bomb being delivered to a resident living in the middle of Great Falls, MT. Kenn Q. Mychael called 9-1-1 at 11:31 AM on October 26th to report a package fitting the description of the packages shown on local news being identified as mail-bombs. He was given instruction to leave the package alone and vacate the premise while waiting for local law enforcement, bomb squad, ATF and FBI to arrive.
Within twenty minutes, the entire block was vacated as bomb squad x-rayed and opened the package. To their surprise, the contents were NOT a mail-bomb, but instead were 13", black colored dildo. The dildo was shaped like a realistic phallus, testicles included. Montana FBI leader Gordy O'shea carried the flopping dildo to Mychael and assured the surrounding residents that there was no cause for alarm, it was merely a larger-than-life sex toy. Mychael blushed and admitted that he had ordered the sex toy to curb some of his winter boredom but had forgot about the order, as he is slightly dumber than most. What he thought was a timer was in fact a large bottle of KY brand sexual lubricant and the testicles.
The FBI and ATF still urge residents to use caution and don't open any suspcious packages.