The Berkeley Pit in Butte, MT has been notoriously poisonous for over 30 years now. Coming in at a half mile long, 1800' deep, the pit is filled with 900' of highly acidic, poisonous water. Just last year, it consumed a flock of Canadian geese that landed on their trek back home. The pH level of the water is roughly the same as lemon juice, and can consume an aluminum boat in just under two hours.
Im sure everyone’s heard that ABC dropped the hit TV show after Roseanna Barr sends out and Ambien induced Tweet. Maybe Left wing nuts went crazy over the “racist” Tweet but Fox has a better idea, they will now show the reruns and 2nd season that was in the works before Season 1 was even finished.
In a phone call to Fox we got to talk to Pam Handy who said “Its kind of like the saying ‘One mans trash is someone’s Gold’. We’re super excited to bring in the cash flow and have the support and money from the NAACP, who helped us get Roseanna and everyone to sign the contract”
Trendsetter Mary-Anna Spitzhausen-Jones arrived on the scene this afternoon with what can only be described as the most unique of apparel accessories ever to grace a modern whip.
“I wanted a way to show the world that I live a gangsta life, I do what I want! YOLO after all” Mary-Anna said in a statement released Monday afternoon.
Wolf Like Creature Shot In Montana Has Unusual DNA Results
The wolf like creature shot in Denton last week had its DNA returned and the results are startling.
The My Ancestry results came back as
10% African American
45% New Wales
72% Latin American
Montana Fish and Game said this is the first 45% New Wales they have had in the state and believe it may have been here illegally. Fish and Game also gave tips on how to react in a situation if you came face to face with one.
Will Hutchison, a longtime resident of North Bend, Washington State, Recently experienced some dynamic life style changes. Growing up in his adolescent years, Will didn't quite fit in well with the ladies. His shy demeanor only compounded the embarrassing fact that his manhood... wasn't quite what was expected. Until recently, Will has replaced this lack of braun with his personal array of full sized diesel fueled pick-up trucks as well as his collection of Harley-Davidson Motorcycles with their overly loud, and annoying presence.
Local bouncer, Brandon, aka Lopez, a slightly racist monicker which he embraces, has once again taken a Facebook quiz. As previous results have confirmed, he's doomed to fail them. This time, however, is a different story.
The quiz was about Marvel Superheros. Brandon borrowed a phone and looked up the answers. Not realizing that he was looking up DC Comics, Brandon answered all of the questions wrong. Normally, he would just exit out of the quiz without posting his results. This time was different. He accidentally posted his results and tagged all both of his friends.
ANGLERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!
Colorado Fish and Game has just announced the 22nd Annual Memorial Day Weekend CatFishing Contest!
This year’s focus will be Brooke trout and river walleye. Catch and release rules apply and there is an 6.5 inch minimum with a hat trick limit of three entries per day. No catfishing will be allowed, as that just leaves you holding an empty hook.
Please, only entrants over 18 will be allowed in with a special prizes for the cougar hunters and the silver foxes that just want to get their poles wet.
Pentagon Audit Gone Wrong!
In a surprise move even Rand Paul didn’t see coming, the Pentagon’s books are being audited. No, really.
Bob, from accounting, said that the project, estimated to cost $345,000,000.38, should be completed in early fall. Just in time for campaign season in the bottom hemisphere. “We suspect that a few rounding errors should account for the $9 trillion dollars that are missing.”
The applicant must be a Scientician Specialist that has all of the required documents, varying from Scientician Merits, Scientific/Scientist Extremum, Variable Discrete Dynamic Resource Degrees, Multi-Commodity Merits including Static and Dynamic IP configurations for Special Intranet, Farming and the like AI Research.
In a message exchange with notorious hot-head Kim Jong Un, President Donald Trump sent the message "Send nukes" when autocorrect changed "nudes" to "nukes." When asked about the mistake, Trump quickly replied that he's been sleeping with Kim Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner, and had been requesting photographs from both when the accident occurred. A forensic analysis of Trump's phone indicated that he, in fact, was telling the truth.